Shiira.Shiira

December 6th was the day after my dad’s birthday and my day of reckoning with Level 4 of the JLPT. It was the day I would come face to face with a seemingly ferocious opponent but wouldn’t know the outcome of the battle until months later. The passing of time, however, would not be a big issue. I was fairly certain I would fail.

My decision to take the JLPT was multi-fold.  1-I thought it would give me a better feel as to where I really stood with the language.  2-It might inspire me to get my butt in gear to study harder and more efficiently.  3-I’d forced my University into a rather unique situation pertaining to transfer/proficiency credit.

Though I knew I wouldn’t pass JLPT this time around, I knew at some point I would definitely need to in order to attain my degree.

In the weeks preceding the exam, my resolve wavered. “Get a hold of yourself” I would admonish my inner self, “remember why we’re doing this”. I held tight to the premise of just wanting to know where I stood and how best to move forward. BUT!!! When it came right down to it, I was afraid to fail.

With a gentle push from my family (thanks Mom), my sister and I made the 6-hour trek to Atlanta, GA. It was chilly and with such a late start I barely got any sleep in the hours leading up to the exam. A self protective sense of ease fell upon me as I ascended the stairs to room 700. Many of us hung around in the hallway until the proctor told us we could assemble inside. Most did last minute studying, carrying bags of books and electronic devices designed to drill the Japanese language into your head. I, on the other hand, listened to the iPod featured on my iPhone. Gackt … I listened to Gackt. I didn’t even bother to access the myriad Japanese learning applications I’d loaded in the few months I’d owned the phone. I knew it wouldn’t help.

The test lasted several hours and there were more than a few times I thought the sweat falling from my face would mar my answer sheet. During explanation of the listening portion I was so turned around in my mind that I barely recognized when the instructions (in native/fluent Japanese) had ended and the exam actually began again. It was intense. Immensely intense. And liberating.

By the time I’d finished, I was feeling good. I wasn’t scared anymore and knew the next year when I took the JLPT for “real” everything would be okay. Congratulations and sighs of relief were bandied about the room as we lovers of the language parted company. It was a good feeling.

An even better feeling came just a little under 2 months later. Those of us taking the exam through the Japan Foundation of Los Angeles were informed our scores had been posted a full month earlier than expected. I admit my hands shook and I was slightly ill as I logged in. Although I knew I’d failed and had come to no uncertain terms with that, my world was rocked to its core when I finally scrolled down to see a passing score. 75, 71 and 100 in Sections 1, 2, and 3 respectively. A pretty decent score by any measure, I must say.

I’m not fooling myself, though. The exam is a tad bit flawed and does not truly indicate mastery or proficiency at the Japanese language. It is, however, a starting point and a method of measure. I’m glad I passed but can also see the long road ahead.