Shiira.Shiira » Uncategorized » The Wall
The Wall
Today, the fates have conspired and I hit the wall. You know … that almost inevitable period where there is abslutely no progress, no forward movement in whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish. I know learning Japanese should be fun and it is. BUT… there is also fun in moving from one point to the next; in seeing goals met; in being able to say “this is where I was, but this is where I am now”.
Progress is fun. No progress is not.
Yesterday is when I actually hit the wall. I seemed to have recovered pretty nicely, but as we learn in life, things are not always as they seem.
Today was the final day of Term I University. I’d taken 3 classes, chosen more for their availability than for their comfortable fitting together. Lots of writing, lots of research, many assignments and extremely comprehensive exams in all three classes. It was a tough term and today two exams plus a few outstanding assignments were due.
Knowing I was pressed and time was a precious commodity, I none the less put my car to the road and headed for my Japanese class 1.5 hours away. I left early so I could spend some quiet time studying for later tests and was feeling pretty good as I entered the classroom. Things started off pretty well.
We began to study sore, kore, are … again. And sono, kono, ano … again. And sochia, kochira and achira. You got it … again! It seems I’ve been in this class already, I thought. And I had. This Summer and the summer before. Being a single parent with no outstandingly significant inheritance or ultimate lottery winnings means I need to retain a full-time job. Place that on top of full-time school and you’ve got a pretty tight schedule.
Our local (I guess you could call 3 hours roundtrip “local”) University that offers Japanese never offers it during a time that isn’t working hours for me. As a result, I can only catch these short summer courses that teach introductory level Japanese and unfortunately, every time I take the course it’s just a rehash of what has already been covered.
It’s disheartening. Not to say I’m beyond learning what is being taught in the Intro courses but at some point you just HAVE to move on. I guess it’s sort of like trying to learn to swim by wading in the same area of the pool, never venturing past the “shallow end-3ft” marker.
So there I sat, trying to take it all in. Driving so far every Saturday. Wear and tear on my car in putting on so many miles, not to mention the cost of gas. Using time that might have been better spent elsewhere (like studying). And before I knew it “the wall” came out of nowhere, looming before me like a mountain. I smacked right into it, full force and a sense of utter disappointment fell over me like a shroud. The frustration rolled off me in waves so strong they seemed visible. And then the tiredness that normally accompanies such a strong reaction enveloped me in a most uncomfortable embrace. I was glad when class was over. I just wanted to escape.
So here I am. Several hours later and still out of sorts over this entire situation. A chocolate chip waffle seems to have abated some of the “high” emotion but not enough to put me in an easy sleep.
Tomorrow … well, today … begins Term II at University. Three more classes, again chosen for their availability and not because they fit well to take together. Hoping I do well in my calculus class because math just isn’t my thing, and wondering if I will return to Japanese class next Saturday.
I probably will. I don’t tend to give up easily, but never say never, eh?
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Everyone comes to these sticking points, so don’t let it get you down too much. It’s often a sign that you need to change tactics, try something new. If you put yourself in control of the content that you’re exposed to then you’ll never have to worry about covering the same ground in class. One of the best ways to do this is through reading. Choose something you’re interested in, and switch it quickly if it bores you.
This is just from the impresssions I get from this post:
Have you had specific reasons for learning japanese? Maybe just think about those as a motivatiom, think about you’re original goals when you set out to learn the language. Also if the classes suck then why not just teach yourself? Spend that time more usefully than sitting through a class where you already know everything. Don’t give up! I hit the wall, gave up and now I’m back to square 1- already forgotten the little I managed to learn.
Also, hope your calculus goes well. : )
I definitely don’t think the class is bad. It’s actually a GREAT class, but it just happens that its introductory in nature so you can only go so far with it. I wanted to try a class-room approach to learning Japanese because I just hadn’t been able to get a handle on exactly WHAT to learn. I suppose the next thing to try is just getting a good textbook or two and setting out a self-styled curriculum of my own.
Thanks for your comments and for the well-wishes for calculus : ) Good luck with your studies, too.
Hang in there. Tight schedules can be overwhelming when a wench get thrown in the works but don’t give up! I agree, use what you love about Japanese and Japan to motivate you. Also try some self-study to keep your skills fresh and to learn something new in the language, there are a lot of free resources out there. I have signed up for a few online classes that have gotten me excited about Japanese all over again. I was recently in the same boat as well. I felt I had hit a wall with my self-study of Japanese. I was currently on hiatus from college, focusing on studying Japanese, working full-time, and learning how to be a new manager, which I am still trying to navigate. I recently decided to try to attempt the JLPT Level 2 this year and ease myself back into college courses by taking one course this term as well. My former college, the only one that offers Japanese, hired a new Japanese teacher and it seemed we went straight in reverse and it was suppose to be an intermediate course. I started to think maybe I should give up Japanese and just focus on college so I can just finish it up. But I remember why I wanted to learn the language, because I loved the culture and the people, plus it would help in my degree, computer science. I am right there with you on the math, its not my thing but unfortunately I need to know it for my degree field. Gambatte on your courses, especially your calculus course.
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